Xander Nukem
by burgstel
Summary: There's a new sheriff in town and those undead bastards are going to have to pay for shooting up his ride! Hail to the King, Baby! Abandoned - sorry folks but i've lost the motivation for this when DNF turned out to be such a lemon :P. Anyone who wants to continue it has my permission to do so.
1. Chapter 1 Sunnydale Meltdown Part I

A/N – I own nothing in regards to the BTVS and Duke Nukem Characters. This fan fiction is only for a purpose of fun and all the BTVS and Duke Nukem fans out there.

A/N 2 – Warning – anyone even remotely offended by the adult content and themes of the Duke Nukem video games, please STOP reading this fan fiction now! Thank you!

A/N 3 – Warning 2 – there will be high level language and High level violence in this fiction. Once again if you are easily offended, please STOP reading this fan fiction! Cheers.

A/N 4 – Yes I know, I still have the YAHF bug, but with the release of Duke Nukem Forever, I just had to have Xander dress as Duke. HAIL TO THE KING BABY!

BTVS : YET ANOTHER HALLOWEEN FAN FIC

XANDER NUKEM

CHAPTER ONE – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN – PART I

"**Damn those Alien bastards are going to pay for shooting up my ride**!" Duke grumbled and complained mostly to himself as he surveyed his immediate surroundings. His last thoughts were of being shot down by the alien scum over the city of L.A, where he managed to bail out in time and land on top of one of the city skyscrapers, before everything went black.

"What the hell is going on here?" Duke asked himself as he was starting to get pissed off, as he realized he was no longer in L.A. He was for all intents and purposes in a small Californian town; probably south of L.A was Duke's best guess. Duke quickly checked his inventory. He was currently only armed with his golden Desert Eagle along with 3 spare clips complete with Armour piercing explosive rounds, two Cuban cigars, a cigarette lighter and a small portable medical first aid kit.

_What bloody stunt are the alien scum up to now? I swear they're like cockroaches. I get of a whole bunch of them, and even more scum pop up to replace the ones I've already killed. Perhaps they've transported me with their infernal technology somewhere else so I can't interfere with their plans? Whatever it is, IT'S ASS KICKING TIME! _Duke mentally thought to himself as he began to get himself ready to get to the bottom of this mess, and find out what those aliens were up to this time.

"Damn, I've got a bad feeling about this!" he grumbled as a small, demon like creature quickly ambushed him for a nearby bush along side the nearby footpath.

The creature growled as it attacked, but Duke just sized up his tiny attacker and laughed at the pitiful life form that dared to challenge the king.

"**COME GET SOME!"** Duke challenged as he kicked out at the tiny demon with his massive size 18 boot. The said boot made contact squarely with the tiny demon straight in the chest, the impact sending the demon flying back 5 meters with a thud.

The demon growled in pain, before deciding to run off to seek much easier prey.

"**Damn, I'm Good!**" Duke taunted out loud at the retreating demon, even as he took a Cuban cigar out of his pocket and began to light it.

It was then he noticed a hot looking red head approach him, wearing a leather mini skirt, leather boots and a small green mini shirt which barely concealed her 'assets'.

_Hmmm. Very nice. It seems things are starting to look up! Hail to the King Baby! Heh, heh, heh, heh! Man and I thought the girls at the Red Light district in downtown L.A were hot! _

Duke thought as he took in the girl's appearance, even while he started to look with a lecherous grin, all the while taking in a puff from his Cuban cigar.

"Hey baby, what's up?" Duke asked as the girl in question started to question him.

"Xander! What's going on? Why are you acting like that? And where did you get that cigar?" The girl babbled, even as she tried to take the cigar off her best friend.

Duke however, was having none of that and took a few steps back to avoid the girl and he continued to smoke his cigar.

"Xander? I'm sorry Babe but I don't know who or what this Xander is. The name is Nukem. Duke Nukem."

"Xander! Stop fooling around, this is no time for jokes!" The girl replied even as she started to realize that her friend wasn't acting like his old self.

"I'm not joking miss. And may I ask the name of this incredibly hot red head that is currently standing before me?" Duke asked in replied with a grin that made Willow blush.

"I'm Willow. Willow Rosenberg. You know that already Xander!" Willow managed to reply while blushing a deep shade of red.

"Oh I think I would remember someone like you baby. I believe this is the first time we have met!" Duke answered even as he took in Willow's appearance. Willow noticed that her friend was checking her out and her blush deepened even more.

"Xander! Knock that off!" Willow protested.

"Is there something wrong with appreciating, female beauty?" Duke asked with an even bigger grin than he had before. Willow just sighed as she realized that the man in front of her wasn't her Xander at the moment. Something was up, but Willow wasn't sure yet of what that exactly was.

"Listen to me Xand….ahem Duke. Something funny is going on around here tonight. We have to find Buffy!" Willow explained as she tried to reach and grab "Duke Nukem's" hand only to find that she went straight through the body Duke Nukem completely. This small fact surprised Duke greatly, but he just assumed to it was just part of whatever the hell was going on here tonight.

"What the hell? Are you some kind of hologram?" An interested Duke asked Willow.

"Umm…not exactly. It's kinda complicated."

"Complicated? You care to explain that?" Duke asked, curious as to what the answer and explanation to the madness going on would be.

"Well, tonight I dressed up as a ghost. And now I'm really a ghost. You are really my best friend Xander and he dressed up as Duke Nukem from a video game called Duke Nukem 3D. And now I guess you really are Duke Nukem." Willow explained nervously, without having to take a breath in between her words of babble.

"And you just expect me to believe that? Damn. You may be a hottie, babe, but I find that very hard to believe. Sure, aliens taking over the world is believable, but me turning to into someone else? You must be kidding!" An incredulous Duke replied.

"Aliens! Aliens aren't real mister!" Willow replied in a huff.

"Well sure they are! I've kicked their ass no less than a baker's dozen times!"

"Hmmmp! Aliens, indeed! Well mister, if you don't believe me check out your reflection in that mirror of that parked car further down the street!" A frustrated Willow replied as she pointed out the parked vehicle to Duke.

"Sure thing babe. But don't think that I'm believing this bull shit." Duke replied even as he went to check out his reflection in the mirror of the said parked vehicle. And what Duke saw in the mirror shocked the hell out of him.

_What the fuck? Damn, it looks like the babe could be right. Those Alien bastards are going to pay for this. Someone is going to be ripped a new one when I catch the bastard responsible for this damned madness. For now, the babe seems to know this area better than I do, so I guess I will follow her for a while and see if I can do some alien ass kicking while I'm at it! Heh, heh, heh, heh! _Duke mentally laughed as he imagined all the various ways he would lay the smack down and bring the pain on those alien bastards and whoever was responsible for him being here in this small town.

"So who is this Buffy anyways?" Duke asked the redhead after he had a chance to compose himself from the shock he had just received from looking at his reflection.

"Buffy is our friend and the Slayer. She should be able to help us and find out what is going on." Willow explained.

"A Slayer? What the fuck is a Slayer?" Duke asked even as he frowned at the explanation while Willow swatted Duke on the arm for the use of the swear word. But Duke being Duke, didn't even notice until the red headed hottie protested.

"Hey! Watch your language mister!"

"Heh, heh, heh! We're stuck in the middle of this chaos, and you're worried about me or this Xander of yours swearing?" Duke asked even as he struggled to keep himself from laughing at the red headed babe.

"Hey! It's not funny mister! And we really need to find Buffy!" Willow explained with some urgency.

"May I ask what's so important about this Buffy and what the hell is a Slayer?"

"Well Buffy is the Slayer….she's a mystical warrior who has nifty powers to hunt the darkness and evil and stuff." Willow explained with a sigh.

"Hmm powers you say? So she's some kind of super soldier or warrior or something?" Duke asked with his interest piqued at the mention of possible powers.

"Something like that. Come on please, we have to go!" Willow pleaded.

"*Sigh* Very well. I supposed you know where to find this Buffy then?" Duke asked with some patience.

"No not really, but she could be anywhere. We need to start searching!"

"Fine. It's not like I've got any thing better to do at the moment. Lead the way babe."

"Please don't call me that." Willow whined.

Meanwhile, elsewhere outside in the town of Sunnydale, the Master Vampire known as Spike had decided to take a stroll along the streets despite a rather cryptic warning from his insane sire and seer Drusilla to beware of and avoid the so-called Duke.

_The Duke? Who or what is the Duke? We're in bloody California in the USA, not bloody England, for devil's sake! Was he some sort of noble hero or something? Bah! There were no nobles in America, only stick in the mud Senators and Congressmen who were either corrupt or just plain boring! And the only hero here in Sunnydale is the Slayer, and by the time this night is out, she's going to be pretty DEAD if I have anything to do about it._ Spike thought to himself as he continued to stalk the streets.

As he walked, he had noticed all the chaos going around him, all the small kinds of demons and other creatures that were causing trouble and mayhem tonight in the town. It looked like that for tonight, the town of Sunnydale was going into meltdown.

"Well, this is just…..neat." An amused Spike said to himself as he observed the chaos even as a couple of smaller demons ran past Spike and started trashing the windows of nearby parked cars on the side of the road as well as seeing the little 'demons' throwing objects such as garbage bins through the windows of nearby shops, causing the alarms to be triggered. But no policeman would be foolish enough to answer such calls in Sunnydale, especially AFTER night had fallen.

_Well looks like things are going to get bloody interesting around good old Sunnydale tonight! Hmmm I wonder where the Slayer and here goodie two shoe friends are at the moment? Surely they would be trying to stop this fun? Hmmm…what to do, what to do…_ Spike thought to himself, before he came up with the idea of recruiting of some of the smaller demons as minions he could use to help with causing more destruction and possibly helping to kill the Slayer if at all possible.

_HA! Now that is a plan! I can get all these 'demons' to help attack the Slayer. Even if they don't succeed, they will surely wear the Slayer out, and that's when I will strike! Yes, ha, ha, ha! That is a plan for sure! _Spike had an evil grin on his face as he thought his plan through a bit more before deciding on his cause of action.

END OF CHAPTER ONE.


	2. Chapter 2 Sunnydale Meltdown Part II

CHAPTER TWO – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN PART II

Willow was leading her best friend Xander (who was currently possessed by Duke Nukem) down the dark streets of Sunnydale, in a effort to search and find Buffy.

Suddenly a little Vampire rushed out of some nearby bushes and prepared to attack the pair of them them. Willow saw that Duke take a defensive stance even as he was prepared to fire his Desert Eagle at the creature.

"No wait! That's only a little kid in that costume! Please don't kill him!" Willow cried out in dismay.

"Hmm a little kid you say? I suppose he changed just like us?"

"Yes!"

"Very well I will do my best do discourage the creature without hurting it too much. Even though I am itching to kick it's butt all the way to downtown L.A" Duke grumbled in annoyance, knowing that he was denied an opportunity to kick some ass.

With that reply the 'creature' attacked. But Duke Nukem was easily able to dodge its blows and forced the creature back with a mild kick from his size 18 boots. This forced the 'Vampire' back at least five meters like the previous demon who had attacked Duke, even with Nukem holding back in a attempt in trying not to hurt it too much. The 'Vampire' growled before running off to seek easier prey.

"**Piece of cake!**" Duke growled out as he realised that these smaller 'demons' were worthless in a fight and weren't going to prove much of a challenge. While Duke Nukem was complaining about the lack of opportunity for ass kicking time, Willow noticed something further down the street that had caught the red head's attention.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed of a sudden.

"I'm sorry?" Duke Nukem asked as he turned to willow after the 'Demon' had run off in such a cowardly manner.

Then he turned to see the said 'Buffy' stumbling down the street somewhat dazed and disoriented, wearing it appeared to be an 18th Century noblewoman's dress.

"Who's the hot blonde?" Duke asked with a leering grin.

"Hey! Knock that sexist nonsense off mister! Buffy is mine and Xander's friend Duke, not some sex object to ogle! We have to help her!" Willow explained in annoyance.

"Very well. But I am who I am red. Don't expect me to change." Duke replied with a chuckle as well as a grin.

"Buffy! Are you alright?" Willow asked her friend in concern.

"What?" Buffy replied in confusion.

"Are you hurt?" Duke Nukem asked the girl who looked a bit dazed to his keen sense of vision.

"Are you hurt Buffy?" Willow asked as well.

"Buffy? Who's Buffy?" The girl who was Buffy asked in response to their questions.

"Oh no. I guess she's not buffy!" Willow said, as she realized Buffy too was possessed by her costume.

"I take it this is your friend Buffy then." Duke stated.

"Yeah. But normally she's much more attentive and action oriented than this." Willow replied a bit sadly.

"What year is this? What is this place? And who is that funny looking brute of a man?" Buffy rambled off some quick questions to the strange people in front of her.

"We're friends Buffy." Willow responded.

"Friends? And who is this Buffy you keep mentioning?" Buffy asked again in confusion.

"And how did I get here to this strange looking place?"

"Perhaps we should get somewhere safe first and then we can talk this over." Duke stated as he realized that standing around in the open, on a night like this, was just bound to get them into trouble.

As Willow continued to ask and answer questions with Buffy (with Duke starting to look around them warily), all three of them heard another roar. This time a real vampire had appeared, with a smaller demon by its side, which had once been a child trick-or-treating before the night's chaos had struck the town.

"Hmm…..This could fun." Duke remarked as he assessed the threat of the newly arrived Vampire and small demon before pulling out his Desert Eagle and started to aim it at the larger threat.

"Oh oh. Buffy what do we do now?" Willow asked as she turned nervously towards the Slayer. But the Slayer had been affected too and had become a true 18th Century Noblewoman, one who had been scared of her own shadow. And as a result of the Vampire's appearance (who just happened to be in his game face) and his roar, the noblewoman who had once been the Slayer a few hours before promptly fainted.

"Stupid blood bags! Guns can't hurt vampires!" The larger vampire sneered at Duke.

"Is this larger demon another person being possessed?" Duke asked Willow even as he pointed his gun at the vampire.

"No. I pretty sure he's a real vampire. You can kill him. But he is right though. Guns don't normally work. We should probably get out of here." Willow stated nervously.

"Ha! Let me worry about that! LET'S ROCK!" Duke grinned as he realized he had finally some ass kicking action at last.

"HA! You ACTUALLY think you can hurt me with that pea shooter, blood bag? You're not going anywhere except the morgue!" Growled, the large vampire, even as Duke Nukem fired his Desert Eagle at the larger Vampire's head.

Time seemed to slow down as the bullets left the Desert Eagle that Duke had fired at the large Vampire. The vampire had only a moment to blink, before the Armour piercing, explosive rounds caused the Vampire's head to explode, rendering the Vampire in question into dust moments later.

"**IT'S TIME TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND I'M ALL OUT OF GUM!"** Duke roared out at the smaller demon which had attacked with the larger Vampire. The small demon growled when he saw his friend turn to dust and quickly ran off before he too met a similar fate at the hands of Duke Nukem.

"What the? How did you do that?" A curious Willow asked Duke.

"Simple. My gun is special." Duke replied with a large smirk upon his face.

"Well all real Vampires turn to dust when they are killed by either a stake to the heart or chopping off their heads. It's something to do with their demonic energies vaporizing the corpse when they die. But guns shouldn't be able to do that." Willow said as she puzzled over the fact that somehow Duke was able to dust the Vampire with his Desert Eagle.

"I see. But what would you say if I used customized Armour piercing and explosive rounds in my gun." Duke said replied.

"Oh. I guess that might be able to do it if you shoot vampires in the head or their heart." Willow replied a bit quietly.

"So Willow, is there a safe place where we can go to right now? Your friend Buffy doesn't look like she can be much of a help at the moment." Duke asked as he put his mind to getting the hot looking babes to a place of safety.

"Sure, we can go to Buffy's house. It's just down the road, not too far away from here and Buffy has a spare key around her neck so you can use that to get in."

"Ah very good. A chance to manhandle this hot looking blonde! Lead the way to the house."

"HEY! THERE will be NO manhandling or any funny business going on here mister!" Willow protested as she pouted.

"Jeez, ruin my fun will you? Lead the way to this house of which you speak of." Duke mock complained.

And with that, Willow led Duke Nukem down the street towards the direction of Buffy's house, who had scooped the Slayer up in a fireman's carry, while all the time thinking of a way he could possible solve this strange situation. During his service fighting alien scum in the fight to protect Earth and all the hot looking babes, he had been in many dangerous and hairy situations. But this might be possibly the strangest one he had ever been in. The small group eventually managed to get to the front yard of Buffy's house when all of a sudden a loud scream could be heard coming from down the street, which made Duke look towards the direction from where the scream was going from.

Duke saw that a hot looking brunette, dressed in some kind of cat costume, was being pursued by another vampire. Duke grinned, before putting Buffy gently down on the ground. He then began to un-holster his Desert Eagle and headed towards the girl's aid.

"Hmmm looks like it's ass kicking time again! Here comes a hottie can could clearly use my _SERVICES_." Duke grinned even as he replied in a tone that implied so much more than what was said, before he leaped into action.

"Wait a minute, what's that about services?" Willow had moments to ask, before she witnessed Duke charge off to the rescue, even while Buffy had managed to come to and stood up to witness the current situation.

"Surely he does not mean to leave us in this wretched place." A scared Buffy now whimpered to Willow.

"Don't worry, he'll be back. I am sure of it." Willow tried to sooth the scared noblewoman but could see it didn't help that much.

"I don't know what we would do if he deserted us…" continued a scared Buffy even as Willow rolled her eyes.

"Whatever…*sigh*" Willow sighed as she started to get tired of putting up with this version of Buffy.

The scream that the group had heard belonged to one Cordelia Chase. She had being running the down the street, her costume torn with her hair a mess. There were several scratches on her face from her close shave previously from the vampire that was now several yards behind her, chasing her. Even now she noticed that the geek known as Xander was running towards her, armed with what looked like a Desert Eagle of all things.

"Xander, there's something chasing me! We've got to get help!" Cordelia chase screamed towards Xander. Even as she continued to flee from the creature.

"Fear not babe! I will ensure no harm comes to you." 'Xander' replied as he charged towards the beast, much to Cordelia's horror.

_What the hell? Who does he think he is, calling me a babe like that! Good thing no one else heard that but…Oh no! The dork is going to fight the vampire himself and is likely to get himself killed helping me! Where the hell is the Slayer Buffy when you need here? Honestly the Slayer is like a policeman. They are never around when you need them!_

Cordelia thought in horror as even as she watched the scene in front of her unfold. She prayed a little, hoping that somehow the adorable dufus who went to her aid would be alright.

"Hey Babe! Quickly get inside of that house! You should be safe there! Here use this!" 'Xander' shouted as he pointed to Buffy's house , even as he threw Cordelia the spare key he had taken off from around the neck of Buffy Summers. Cordelia was able to catch the tossed spare key before she was able to reply to her schoolmate.

"Xander?" Cordelia said softly as he approached the beast.

"Just go! I'll handle this! **COME GET SOME!**"

But Cordelia found she couldn't move even as she watched the vampire swipe a large fist at Xander, only for its fist to be dodged by Duke The vampire roared in anger and frustration and attacked at Duke Nukem again, only to be countered by the large boot of Duke Nukem, who had kicked with all his might. The vampire was actually sending flying back several meters, before crashing onto the footpath in a heap and in quite a bit of pain.

"Bitch'in!" Duke remarked as he watched the vampire pick itself up off the ground.

"You'll pay for that Human!" The vampire growled as he charged the hero in anger, only to meet the strong fist of Duke in reply. Duke's fist shattered the vampire's jaw and knocked the creature back again, even as it moaned in pain before deciding to find a way to avenge himself then kill this bothersome human. The vampire heard a click, before looking up at seeing that the human was aiming a gun at him. The vampire knew that guns couldn't hurt him and would have taunted the human but his jaw had just been broken.

"Damn, you're ugly." Duke taunted as he looked at the vampire who was now in his game face.

"Time for you to die! You mess with the best, you will die like the rest!" Duke finished taunting as he fired his Desert Eagle at the Vampire's head, causing it to explode before rending the vampire to dust. The vampire in question only had enough time to be shocked before he knew no more and everything became black.

"Xander?" Cordelia asked softly, both in relief and surprise at how the dork had managed to beat the vampire. 'Xander' puts on hand on her shoulders and replies

"Come inside. You'll be safe there. We shouldn't remain outside too long while events surrounding us remain this chaotic."

With that Duke led Cordelia into the house of Buffy Summers who was promptly greeted by an excited and hyperventilating Willow Rosenberg and a somewhat subdued Buffy. Duke then closed and locked the front door behind them. Curiously to Cordelia, something seemed to be off about the resident Slayer. She just seemed to be too quiet somehow.

"Cordelia!"

"What's going on?" Cordelia asked Willow.

"Okay – your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school and we're your friends – well sort of."

"That's nice Willow. And you went mental when?" Queen C of Sunnydale sarcastically replied.

"You know us?" Willow asked in surprise.

"Yeah, lucky me. What's with the name game? And since when has Xander been Mr N.R.A?"

"Well it's complicated and a lot is going on." Willow answered with a sigh.

"No kidding. I was just attacked by a freaking vampire. Have a look at my costume! Do you think Party Town's going give me my deposit back? Not very likely!"

"Well we should be safe here now that the vampire has had its ass kicked. Now all we have to do is work out what's going on and how to fix it." Duke said as he turned to talk to the girls.

"Okay I have an idea. You three stay here while I get help. If something else tries to get in, just fight it off." Willow stated to the group.

"It's not our place to fight. Surely some more men will come and protect us?" A frightened Buffy said.

"What's that riff?" An incredulous Cordelia asked in confusion.

"No way in hell. It's ass kicking time and I'm going to be the one to do it!" A worked up Duke said in reply Willow's plan of action.

"Then tell me what your plan is then Duke?" Willow suggested patiently.

"I'm going to go outside and kick the ass of every blood sucking bastard out there!" Duke replied.

"No I'm afraid not. That's not really going to help us put an end to this mess. You're going to be needed here to look after Buffy and Cordelia, because if you hadn't noticed they can't fight as well as you can. And I can't really be hurt about now. You know being ghost girl and all that."

"Hmm I get your point but you can't do or touch anything at the moment can you?"

"So?"

"Then you won't be able do anything. So how can you put an end to all of this?" Duke reasoned.

"That's true I guess. But I know an expert for this strange and weird stuff. Do you know someone like that?" Willow countered.

"No. I guess not. So that's your plan? To find and get help from this expert?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm – fine. But if there's any ass kicking to be done, it'll be done by me!" Duke said, trying to compromise with the girl.

"What is this nonsense? Since when has Xander been all He-man like?" Cordelia interrupted, not quite believing the macho crap coming out of Xander's mouth.

"Cordelia it's sort of Amnesia, okay? Xander and Buffy don't know who they are at the moment. They kinda think they are other people at the moment. Please sit tight here." Willow starts to take off even while Cordelia remarks something underneath her breath, something about who died and made her the boss.

"Wait a moment. Just wait…" Duke started to ask a question of the red headed girl before she took off.

"Yes?" Willow asked, just as she was about to leave.

"It's…." Duke was about to ask a question before he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Man, am I glad to see you guys here. It's total chaos out there." The male voice said.

END OF CHAPTER TWO.


	3. Chapter 3 Sunnydale Meltdown Part III

CHAPTER THREE – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN PART III

**Previously….**

"Cordelia it's sort of Amnesia, okay? Xander and Buffy don't know who they are at the moment. They kinda think they are other people at the moment. Please sit tight here." Willow starts to take off even while Cordelia remarks something underneath her breath, something about who died and made her the boss.

"Wait a moment. Just wait…" Duke started to ask a question of the red headed girl before she took off.

"Yes?" Willow asked, just as she was about to leave.

"It's…." Duke was about to ask a question before he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Man, am I glad to see you guys here. It's total chaos out there." The male voice said.

**And now….**

"Man, am I glad to see you guys here. It's total chaos out there." Angel said as he made his presence known to the group.

"Who are you?" Both Buffy asked even while Duke had his own unique way of asking who the intruder was.

"**Who's the Pussy with the outdated hair gel?**" Duke taunted even as he aimed his Desert Eagle at the new comer in preparation for a fight and a bit of ass kicking. Duke took notice of this new man and began to get his suspicions roused. He was pale, possibly too pale to be healthy. Then he saw it, as Angel passed the mirror on the wall of the living room, Duke Nukem noticed that the man had no reflection.

_What the fuck? This man has no reflection? And he's quite pale too. A normal human that pale would be lying in hospital gravely sick. That or possibly in the fucking morgue! Is he human or just another one of those blood sucking bastards that have been attacking us tonight? Hmmm….guess there's only one way to find out! _Duke thought with a shit eating grin.

With that Duke Nukem decided to test out his theory as to what the man truly was, and decided to shoot this so called man in a non vital area, enough to prove his theory, but not enough to kill in case he was wrong. Even as Angel was telling them his name, Duke to open fire at creature. Angel's eyes blinked in surprise but thanks to him being a 250 year old Master Vampire, his reflexes were up to the challenge and he managed to dodge the bullets that were fired, even as it lodged into the living room wall behind him and partly blew up the wall, covering Angel completely in dust and plaster from head to foot.

"Xander? I know you've never liked me, but what the fuck?" Angel replied angrily.

"Duke! What do you think you're doing?" Willow shouted.

"Holy crap! You could have killed him!" Cordelia shrieked.

"You, big brute! Was it necessary to fire that musket of yours?" The noblewoman Buffy added.

"Not really. I just wanted to test a theory. If I wanted him dead, he'll already be fucking worm food." Duke replied to the startled girls, he as he turned back to an angry Angel and asked.

"What the hell are you creature? No human should have reflexes good enough to dodge bullets." 'Xander' said in a tone that warned Angel that something was wrong with the boy.

"Cordy? What's wrong with the boy?" Angel asked as he turned towards Cordelia.

"He's not himself Angel. Both Xander and Buffy have some kind of Amnesia or something. At least that's what Willow thinks." Cordelia answered the puzzled souled vampire.

"I see." The vampire replied even as he truly didn't understand. But he made a vow that he would protect the group, even someone as annoying as Xander.

"Look I mean you no harm." Angel gestured as he held his hands up in a universal gesture of peace.

"And why should I believe you? And you still haven't answered my question creature." A suspicious Duke Nukem asked Angel.

"I'm a vampire. A vampire with a soul." Angel replied somewhat nervous at the look that Duke Nukem was giving him.

"So you are like those other mother fucking blood suckers that attacked us earlier tonight?" Duke snarled as he aimed his Desert Eagle at Angel again.

"WAIT! He means us no harm! He's a friendly vampire." Willow interrupted as she didn't want her best friend to go about shooting up Buffy's home.

"Willow's right. He's a friend, Xander. If you don't believe him, believe us please." Cordelia managed to say before Angel could reply.

"Are you sure about this babe? And for your information the name is not Xander, it's Duke Nukem." Duke Nukem replied to Cordelia even as he kept a wary eye upon the vampire. Both Angel and Cordelia raised their eyebrows at this reply.

"Yes I vouch for him. He is one of our friends."

"Very well. I will accept the word of this hottie. But should you try to harm the babes here, I shall kill you." Duke warned Angel even as he narrowed his eyes at the vampire.

"Agreed." Angle was quick to response nervously.

Something was off about the boy, something that just screamed danger to his senses. He always knew that the boy could be a threat to himself and others of his kind. He had never underestimated him even though the rest of the Scoobies tended to do most of the time. But something in his gut was telling him that this 'Xander' or Duke Nukem as he called himself now, would be even more dangerous. All Angel could do was hope and wait for the madness of this night to die down and hope that things returned back to normal.

The tension in the room began to get a bit thick as the silence between the so-called 'Scoobies' began to get awkward. It was at this stage, Willow decided to break the tension.

"Well this is so not comfortable. I should get to Giles. He should know how to fix things."

"Willow it's not safe out there." Angel started to protest even as Duke interrupted.

"Giles? Is that the name of the expert you mentioned before?"

"Yeah."

"Then we should go to this Giles, and then come with a plan of action." Duke suggested.

"Yeah…hey what do you mean, we? You should all be safe here."

"But what about you?" Angel asked confused, as he had no idea of what was going on.

"I'm kinda a ghost girl now Angel. And Xander seems to be Duke Nukem now."

"So you're kinda like your costumes now." Angel said as he began to think about the matter at hand.

"What about Cordelia?" Angel asked the cheerleader, wondering what she had become.

"I'm still pretty much myself. Unlike, the dork and lady useless here." Cordelia replied with a superior tone in her voice.

"So why did we change and Cordelia didn't?" Duke asked as he was starting to get a very nasty suspicion as to what caused this mess, and he was rapidly running out of patience.

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's a spell or something to do with our costumes? Giles will know." Willow suggested.

_This is fucking taking forever. It's time for these guys to stop pissing around and let this big guy get back into the action. It's pretty damned obvious now that our so-called changes or non changes in the case of Cordelia, has something to do with our bloody costumes. The only question is where the fuck did these people get them? _Duke Nukem mentally thought in frustration as he was getting to itch to get back to some alien and monsters ass kicking.

"Just out of curiosity, where did you get your costume Cordelia?" Angel asked as he too started to get suspicious about the true cause and nature of the chaotic events going on outside.

"Oh, the new fancy place called Party Town." Cordelia replied, though not seeing as to why the vampire with the Soul would ask that particular question.

"And where did this Xander and you buy your costumes from?" Duke suddenly asked as he saw where the vampire was coming from.

"The new discount place, it's called Ethan's I think. Oh…surely you don't think?" Willow suddenly asked as she realized what Duke was thinking.

"Its unlikely I admit, but it's a good a lead as any." Duke replied even as he chambered another round in his Desert Eagle. Duke made his way to the front door, but was suddenly interrupted by Willow.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going Mister!" Willow asked.

"Simple. I'm going to this Ethan's and check it out." Duke replied casually.

"But you don't know where it is dork!" Cordelia butted in.

"True, but I'm good at getting around and I'm more than able to look after myself."

"Xander….Duke, maybe you should listen to the girls. It's dangerous outside." Angel suggested, even while he privately detested the boy, he didn't want to see the boy get himself killed, even if it was only for Buffy's benefit.

"**Blow it out your ass vampire**! I'm sick of standing around here doing nothing but talk. My name is Duke Nukem and I'm going to get the bastard responsible for this mess!"

"But Xan…Duke…" Willow started but was interrupted before she could finish.

"Go see this Giles of yours Willow. If you're right, he should come up with a plan to help, but I have a feeling something needs to be done right now. Vampire, make sure nothing happens to these hot chicks….if some thing happens to them, I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK! I trust I make myself clear?" Duke warned the vampire.

"Perfectly." A nervous Angel replied as he swallowed a small lump of fear at the back of his throat. Whoever this boy was now, he was currently someone not to be trifled with.

Seeing that her best friend was now determined to go, and there was no reasoning with him to see otherwise, Willow could only hope and pray that he would be okay.

"Duke, please be careful. And Ethan's is on Main Street near the center of town. Head left after leaving here, then take the first right down Wilkins Boulevard. Head down that way for about 200 meters and you should get nearby or close to the place you seek. " Willow reluctantly directed her friend after realizing she couldn't talk Duke out of going.

"Don't worry, I'll be back!" Duke said, before he surprised everyone in the room and pulled Cordelia into a deep and passionate kiss that lasted until the pair of them had to break away for much needed oxygen.

"**Hail to the King, baby!"** Duke stated, before leaving the Summer's residence on his mission, leaving behind a very confused and blushing Willow Rosenberg, a stunned, blushing and equally outraged Cordelia Chase, a shocked Angel and one very confused noblewoman known as Buffy.

END OF CHAPTER THREE


	4. Chapter 4 Sunnydale Meltdown Part IV

CHAPTER FOUR – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN PART IV

It was late at night, and Duke Nukem was out on his own, trying to find this place called Ethan's. He followed the red head's directions, and was currently running down Wilkins Boulevard, keeping a careful eye out for further ambushes and attacks while also trying to locate Ethan's costume shop. He checked his Desert Eagle, and made changed his clip over, to ensure he had a full clip ready to fire in case he ran into something nasty.

He was running past a few shops that looked like they had been looted earlier on during the chaos, and he took of note of all the damage that had been done to the parked cars, the shops and the general surrounding area of the town.

_Where the fuck, have all the god damned cops gone? They had better not all been turned into Pigs, otherwise I'm going to be SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF! Bad enough I have to deal with those fucking bloody suckers, but if I have to deal with those Alien bastards as well, I won't BE A HAPPY CAMPER! _Duke mentally ranted, even as he began to get a seriously bad feeling about the entire situation.

Duke continued to get bad feelings about this place, when he came across the Sunnydale gun shop. The windows and doors had been smashed in, with the alarm blaring, but strangely from what Duke could tell all the weapons on the shelves hadn't been touched, and neither had the ammo being touched.

_I'm getting a very bad feeling about this. Something is not right here! Better check this place out, last thing I need is someone unwanted surprises! _Duke thought as he cautiously entered the shop, his Desert Eagle drawn and ready to kick ass, if in fact the gun shop wasn't as empty as Duke had first thought. Duke quickly realized that he was alone, and the shop was empty. Duke looked at the various weapons and realized if he was going to survive this madness, then he needed some heavier weapons than just his Desert Eagle. It was then he noticed the first weapon that he knew would prove extremely useful.

"**Groovy!**" Duke exclaimed as he examined the weapon, and grabbed it from the shelf. It was a 12 gauge Winchester 1300 Defender, single barrelled pump action shot gun with pistol grip and a shoulder strap as a special feature. Duke knew the weapon was a very good close to medium range weapon that packed a hell of a punch, but was inaccurate at larger distances.

"Heh, heh, heh, heh! **Who wants some?**" Duke remarked even as he managed to find a couple of boxes of shotgun shells and quickly loaded the Winchester. He quickly placed some spare ammo into the ammo belts that he wore over his red wife beater t-shirt. Duke slung the shotgun over his right shoulder and then looked around the store and shelves to check if anything else there could prove useful. Duke noticed quite a few more automatic pistols and other makes of shotguns, but nothing better than what he was currently equipped with. The heavier weapons, Duke guessed was locked up somewhere on the premises in a heavy locker or safe, but time was against Duke and he had a feeling it was starting to rapidly run out, so making a snap decision, he decided to leave the store with all the spare ammunition he could get his hands on and actually carry on his person.

Duke had just about headed out the broken doors of the gun shop, when he suddenly noticed a large crate in the far corner of the store, with the word EXPLOSIVES written in large black letters across the side. Deciding he didn't have enough firepower yet, Duke decided to check the contents of the crate. He noticed that while the lid was still secure, there wasn't a need for a crowbar to open it. Duke quickly ripped off the lid and peered inside at the contents, and what he saw made him smile an evil smirk.

"Heh, heh, heh, heh! I just love the smell of C-4 in the morning!" Duke remarked as he saw the crate was full of pipe bombs. Grabbing a nearby bag, Duke quickly stuffed it full of the small, but yet very deadly pipe bombs. Finally satisfied that he had enough firepower for now, Duke took his leave from the gun shop and quickly headed back outside to continue his mission.

Willow had left the Summer's residence not too long after Duke had left. Willow had managed to convince Angel to stay put and look after Buffy and Cordelia, while she went after Giles and informed him of the night's events.

While the chaos continued outside in the town of Sunnydale and the remaining 'Scoobies' at Buffy's house took refuge, Rupert Giles was working on the book catalog in the Sunnydale High School library, oblivious to the chaos and destruction that was currently happening outside.

Giles was starting to cross reference some of the over due library books that had only just been returned and was working towards putting them back in their proper places on the library book shelves and was startled and very much surprised when Willow came _Literally_ through the library doors in.

"Good Lord!" Rupert remarked as he took off his glasses and started to clean them, even while the catalog cards that he was holding was promptly dropped onto the floor in his surprise.

"Giles! We have a big problem!" Willow exclaimed excited as she began to hyperventilate.

"Willow, please could you calm down and explain to me what the problem is." Giles replied.

Willow then promptly gave Giles a run down of the night's events, with her friends suddenly not remembering who they were, with small children suddenly becoming the creatures, demons and vampires which they dressed as, right up to the chaos and conflict that had come to the town. She also informed the watcher that Xander had left the Summer's residence to go hunting the cause of the night's events.

"Right then, let's review. At Sundown everyone became their costumes, whatever they were masquerading as at the time." Giles began to recap.

"Right. Xander became a video game character known as Duke Nukem. Buffy became an 18th century noblewoman." Willow replied.

"I see. And your costume?" Rupert asked even as he stared at the girl and started to worry about what Willow dressed up as.

"I'm a ghost."

"But a ghost, of **what** exactly?" Giles asked.

Willow looked a bit embarrassed about what Giles must be possibly thinking before she answered the Watcher and High school librarian.

"Just a ghost Giles, besides this is nothing. You should have seen what Cordelia was wearing."

"I shudder at the thought of that young Willow." Giles replied with a small trace of a smile, before remembering that Willow had told him Xander had gone outside hunting.

"And may I ask why Xander took it upon himself to go out in the night?" Giles asked with a bit of a pained look upon his face.

"Well, you see Xander said he had a lead to check. He said it could be a possible cause for tonight's events."

"I see. Do you know where he was headed?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. He went to the costume shop where we got our costumes from. It was a place called Ethan's." Willow answered.

With the mention of the Ethan's name, and the fact that 'Xander' suspected that the Halloween costumes were a possible cause for the night's events, Giles felt his stomach drop as all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and Giles quickly realized who was responsible for the whole mess.

_Bloody hell! That pillock Ethan Rayne is up to his usual nasty tricks, as always! I should have suspected him being behind all this mess earlier, as it positively stinks of my old friend Ethan Rayne! If he has done anything to hurt my well intentioned young friend, I will wring his neck! _Rupert "Ripper" Giles thought harshly.

Rupert Giles immediately when to get his jacket and started to leave the library. Willow noticed this and started to follow when Rupert held up his one hand and gestured for her to stop.

"Now Willow, I know who exactly is behind this madness and I'm going to sort this mess out. If you could please wait here where it is safe…" But Willow interrupted before the Watcher could finish.

"But, Giles! Xander could be in trouble! And I want to help you. And I'm all ghostly and everything here. I don't think I can be hurt at the moment." Willow started to say, as she really wanted to help.

"Well it goes against my better judgement, but perhaps you can start by telling me how to get to Ethan's shop." Giles answered even while he pinched the bridge of his nose.  
>"Sure thing, Giles." Willow said as the pair of them then left the library to put an end to Ethan's scheme of madness.<p>

Duke had only just left the store with his extra supplies when he noticed something was wrong. He had a _very bad feeling _that the shit was about to hit the proverbial fan.

He looked up the street in the direction of where Ethan's store would be, when he noticed a blond looking vampire in full game face, while wearing a black trench coat, was leading a group of smaller demons as well as other vampires.

"Well, well, well! Looking what we have here! If it isn't the Slayer's lapdog!" The vampire known as Spike remarked to his minions while grinning an evil smirk.

"Do I know you, you vampire bastard?" Duke asked as he narrowed his eyes at this new threat.

"Well! Looks like droopy has finally grown a backbone! How very surprising! Still, it won't make much of a difference mate, since I'm going to kill you." Spike remarked in an arrogant tone of voice.

"**Guess again, freak show. I'm going to town on your fucking ass and the last thing that's going to go through your bloody mind before you die is my size 18 boot!**" Duke taunted the vampire.

"Well now, look at that! Droopy's got some bark in him! Ha, ha! I'm going to enjoy ripping out your guts and wearing them for garters boy!" Spike replied, somewhat amused at this weakling human having the nerve to taunt him like this.

"Nice try filth, but it'll be me that will be ripping YOU the new one." Duke sneered at Spike.

"HA! Minions, leave this weakling human to me!" An arrogant Spike ordered his minions to hold back as he was about to launch his attack. However, as he approached Xander, something or some instinct warned the Master Vampire to be careful. Something seemed to be off with the Slayer's personal lapdog and general gopher.

_Something is bleeding wrong here, I can feel it. Droopy is the little scared runt of the Slayer's little pack, and he should be running scared or sweating like a pig at the moment, yet he isn't doing either. Something is up here, bollocks if I can work out what it is though. _Spike mentally thought as he was trying to work out his little dilemma.

As the vampire approached, Duke decided he had enough of this arrogant prick of a vampire and planned on giving this un-dead bastard a MAJOR ass kicking. A simple bullet in the head from the Desert Eagle would be too easy a let off here!

_But luckily I have found something better than a Desert Eagle! That Winchester should be fun to play with here! Heh, heh, heh, heh! _Duke thought to himself while grinning like a lunatic who had just escaped from a mental institute. Duke then proceeded to go for his Winchester and aimed the weapon at the approaching vampire.

_Bollocks, something strange is going on here. Droopy should have run away long before now and…..what the hell? Is that a bloody shot gun? WHERE THE FUCK DID DROOPY GET A SODDING SHOTGUN FROM! What's he going to..OH SODDING HELL!_

"**COME GET SOME!**" Duke Nukem yelled as he fired the shotgun.

BLAMMMMMMMMMM!

END OF CHAPTER FOUR


	5. Chapter 5 Sunnydale Meltdown Part V

A/N - WARNING HIGH LEVEL LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER - IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY PLEASE DISCONTINUE READING THIS FAN FICTION NOW THANKS :)

CHAPTER FIVE – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN PART V

**Previously…**

As the vampire approached, Duke decided he had enough of this arrogant prick of a vampire and planned on giving this un-dead bastard a MAJOR ass kicking. A simple bullet in the head from the Desert Eagle would be too easy a let off here! Duke then proceeded to go for his Winchester and aimed the weapon at the approaching vampire.

_Bollocks, something strange is going on here. Droopy should have run away long before now and…..what the hell? Is that a bloody shot gun? WHERE THE FUCK DID DROOPY GET A SODDING SHOTGUN FROM! What's he going to..OH SODDING HELL!_

"**COME GET SOME!**" Duke Nukem yelled as he fired the shotgun.

BLAMMMMMMMMMM!

**And now…**

The group of smaller demons huddled back as ordered to by the Master Vampire called Spike. They were looking on eagerly in anticipation of their master tearing this human apart. But something was wrong. Not only Spike had picked up on the fact that Slayer's lap dog showed no fear, but the smaller demons also became aware of this as well and started to become very nervous indeed. In fact the human was showing very obvious signs of confidence with an air of arrogance thrown in for good measure. This left the smaller demons confused and more than a bit wary so they hung back as per their orders.

Spike meanwhile only had moments before assumed that the Slayer's lap dog would prove to be an easy meal and approached without a care in the world. This would prove to be the Master Vampire's undoing.

"**COME GET SOME!**" Duke Nukem yelled as he fired the Winchester pump action shotgun.

BLAMMMMMMMMMM!

"Oh Sodding hell!" yelled Spike as only his vampire reflexes allowed him to dive and dodge the first volley from the shot gun.

The loud and intimidating noise of the shotgun firing caused the smaller demons to become worried, and some of them actually started to sweat with fear.

"Oi! You do you bloody think you are, droopy?" Spiked asked in rage back at the Slayer's lap dog whom had seemed to have a grown a pair and dared to fire at the Vampire.

"**My name is Duke Nukem, you undead bastard and I'm here to kick your ass!" **Duke taunted the vampire as he fired the Winchester from almost point blank range.

"Duke who? Oh bloody hell…you're the bloke Dru was ranting on about!" Spike cried out as he started to realize that killing this so called lap dog may prove to be a bit more difficult than he expected.

BLAMMMMMMMMMM!

"Gahhhhhhhhhh! You fucking bastard! You shot my bloody leg off!" Spike roared in a mixture of pain and anger as he clutched the stub of his left leg at the knee, as this was what was left after failing to dodge Duke's next volley. Spike was lying on the ground in pain and wondered where the hell his minions were.

Unfortunately for Spike, when his smaller recruits noticed Duke's formidable hardware, and the fact that it had blew off the Vampire's left leg from below the knee, most of the smaller demons were frightened. So frightened, that a few of them ran away to seek easier prey. When the remaining smaller 'demons' noticed their retreating fellows, their courage also failed, and they in turn followed suit.

"Oi you lot! Don't just stand around; help me kill this mother fucker!" Spike turned to growl out his order to his new recruits, only to discover that the whole group of smaller demons had turned tail and fled.

"Fucking bloody bastards!" Spike screamed out again, both in pain and frustration.

"**Looks like it's down to you and me now, you one-legged freak!"** Duke taunted the crippled vampire, even as he aimed the Winchester back at the Vampire.

"Oh bollocks! Listen droopy, let's just call it evens shall we…I'll pretend you never shot me and you can just walk away unharmed….."Spike started to plead for his life as well as for some mercy, but quickly realized that his pleas weren't going to be answered.

"Guess again, freak show!" Duke replied grimly as he blew off Spike's other leg from below the knee.

BLAMMMMMMMMMMMM!

"AWWWW! Fuck you! You sodding blood bag, I'll make you pay for this! I'll…"

BLAMMMMMMMMMMMM! This time Spike lost his left arm from his elbow downwards. Again, this caused Spike to scream in pain, anger as well now as some fear.

"You were saying, you undead bastard!" Duke sneered back now at the crippled and very heavily bleeding vampire.

"Look….listen…..we can make a deal…" Spike whimpered as he realized he wasn't going to get out of this mess unless a miracle would happen to occur.

"**I don't think so scum. It's time to abort your whole fucking species!** " Duke roared even as he aimed his Winchester straight at Spike's face at point blank range.

"Oh bollocks….."

BLAMMMMMMMMMMMM!

"**Damn I'm good!**" Duke said mainly to himself, as he watched Spike's body turn to dust after he had blown the Vampire's clean off the vampire's body. Duke then was interrupted from his thoughts with some voices coming from behind him.

"Xander?" came a familiar female voice that Duke had heard previously this night while a strange, English sounding but somehow all to familiar voice chimed in with a

"Good Lord!" Both the female and the male newcomers had witnessed Duke's brutal execution of the Master Vampire that was formerly known to them as Spike.

Duke turned around and noticed that the red headed girl known as Willow was watching him somewhat with awe and hesitation, while besides her there was a middle aged, English looking gentleman who appeared to be cleaning his glasses.

"Ah! If it isn't the hot looking red head I met earlier tonight! Who is you friend?" Duke smiled at her, which to Willow looked suspiciously like a lecherous grin.

"Ah Duke, this is Mr Rupert Giles that I mentioned earlier tonight at Buffy's." Willow answered.

"Yes indeed. Pleasure to meet you Mr Duke." Rupert greeted the possessed teen somewhat hesitantly.

"Please call me Duke. I take it you're the expert on all this weird stuff that's going on?" Duke asked the Watcher.

"Yes I'm afraid I am." Giles sighed as he was interrupted before he could continue.

"Then I assume your heading to this place called Ethan's just like me then?" Duke asked with touch of smirk.

"Yes..but how did you know?" Giles asked surprised that the young man had figured it out.

"Just a hunch, old man. Trust me; it wasn't that hard to figure it out." Duke replied with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"*Sigh* I know I'm going to regret asking this, but could you please put that infernal cannon down? Guns aren't exactly toys you know." Giles asked with a sigh and with a feeling that a headache was coming on.

"Don't worry about it Giles. I'm well trained and more than qualified to use this weapon." Duke replied in an attempt to sooth the Watcher's fears, but achieving nothing of the sort.

"Nonetheless, I feel compelled to ask you to be cautious and only use it when absolutely necessary until we get to the bottom of this." Giles sighed as he realized that this Duke wasn't going to be easy, if it was at all possible, to convince to leave those guns behind in someplace safe.

"You have my word. I'll promise to be careful." Duke replied solemnly.

"Hey guys! Shouldn't we be heading off to Ethan's, or are we just going to be standing here talking all night?" Willow suddenly piped up, reminding the two men of what they still just had to do to put an end to the night's events and chaos that was still going on.

Willow decided to lead both Duke Nukem and Rupert Giles to the entrance of Ethan Rayne's shop. They were all surprised that the front door was left unlocked, even as the they entered into the premises. The shop was dark, apart from all the various candles around the place which had been lit. Candles that were normally associated with casting spells that came from the Dark Arts of Magic.

_That idiot Ethan Rayne is definitely behind the chaos tonight. And by the looks of it my fellow Briton has cast a spell of the Dark Arts._ _I just hope we can put an end to this madness before any one truly gets hurt._

While Duke was standing guard and Rupert Giles was continuing to think and examine the shop, when Willow had noticed a small back room, inside there was the alter that Ethan had prayed to in order for him to cast the magic spell that changed people into their costumes for that night.

"Giles, Duke come in here and have a look at this!" Willow replied even as Giles and Duke followed her into the back room, where they instantly noticed the bust of Janus.

"What the fuck? What is that bloody thing?" Duke asked, even as he growled.

"That bust is of Janus. Janus is a roman mystical god." Giles explained.

"But what does it mean?" Willow asked, curious to what it was, even as Duke snorted in disgust.

"Primarily it represents the division of self. Of light and dark – " Giles was about to continue on before he was interrupted by a voice behind them that was all too familiar.

"Chunky and creamy. Oh, I'm sorry. That's peanut butter." Ethan joked as he smirked towards his old friend Ripper and his friends.

"Who the fuck, are you?" Duke growled out at the newcomer.

"Willow, Duke. Get out of here. Now." Giles ordered.

"But Giles?" Willow protested before she was cut off by Giles.

"Now Willow." Giles said in a tone that told Willow that Giles meant business.

"You too; Duke." Giles said as he realized Duke wasn't moving an inch.

"No FUCKING way. If this prick is responsible for tonight, then I'm staying to kick his damned ass!" Duke replied.

Willow bolts out of the shop, even while Giles sighed, annoyed that this Duke wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. Giles just decides to leave him be before turning to greet his old friend.

"Hello, Ethan."

"Hello, Ripper. Who's your Neanderthal friend?" Ethan replied with an evil grin.

"The name is Duke. Duke Nukem." Replied in anger at the man who was the cause for the night's chaos, and reason why he was in this god forsaken little town.

"Ah! You must be one of Ripper's mates who had dressed up as a silly video game character….oof!" Ethan's taunt was cut off as Duke had lost patience and punched the villain in the guts, causing Ethan to buckle and go down on his knees.

"Oof! Hell of a punch you got there mate!" Ethan remarked as he tried to get his breath back.

"*Sigh* I'm surprised that I didn't guess that tonight's chaos was all your doing, before Ethan. This Halloween stunt practically stinks of Ethan Rayne." Giles cut in, as he saw that Duke was on the verge of killing Ethan outright.

"It does, doesn't it old friend? I'm not usually one to blow my own horn, but this night is a work of genius. The very embodiment of 'be careful of what you wish for', is that so Ripper?" Ethan asked even as he smirked, an evil smirk, before that smirk was wiped off his face by a vicious kick in the ribs, courtesy of Duke Nukem.

"Oof!" Ethan replied as even more wind was knocked out of his sails. Ethan clutched his side as he now lay on the floor of the shop, in a surprisingly large amount of pain.

"Tell us how to end this madness you ass wipe!" Duke Nukem growled at the Chaos Mage.

"Yes Ethan. Tell me how to end this spell Ethan, and we'll go easy on you." Giles commanded Ethan.

"Why should I?" Ethan asked.

"This spell is sick. And brutal. And it harms the innocent. Tell me how to end it." Giles glared angrily back at his old friend Ethan as he lay in pain on the floor.

"Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocence and all things pure, innocent and good, Ripper old pal. Hmmmmm…. This is quite an act you've got going on here, old man. Surely you must….." The rest of Ethan's taunt was cut off as Duke stepped down hard on Ethan's right knee with a loud, sickening crunch being heard as a direct result.

"TELL US HOW TO END THE SPELL YOU LITTLE FUCK!" Duke roared, as he rage grew to dangerous, even murderous levels.

"Gahhhhhhhhhhh! You bastard! You'll pay ….." Ethan's response was cut off, when Rupert let Ripper out to play and decided to join in with the 'convincing'.

"HOW DO I STOP IT ETHAN!" Rupert Giles growled in a tone which meant he was deadly serious now.

"I don't know, you say the magic word sesame?" Ethan asked with a sarcastic tone to his voice which only resulted in another swift kick to the ribs by Duke, causing Ethan to scream in pain as he felt a few of his ribs break underneath Duke's mighty boot.

"HOW ETHAN!" Rupert roared even as he stomped on Ethan's right hand, with the result of another sickening crunch that could be heard, even as Ethan screamed out in pain yet again. Two of his fingers were definitely broken now as a result of that stomp. Duke just looked on at the Chaos Mage with sheer disgust.

"I say we just kill this mother fucker." Duke replied with a sneer and a tone in his voice that told Ethan he wasn't joking and was more than willing to do it.

"Now…look…here…."Ethan replied with gasps now, as he had difficulty with breathing due to the beating he was taking, while he saw Duke aim his Desert Eagle straight at his face.

"There's ….no need to…be hasty. The bust…..break the… bust." Ethan finally said in between gasps.

Giles turned to Duke, who had just nodded back to the Watcher in reply. Duke went over to the bust of Janus and quickly picked it up. He lifted it up high in the air, before smashing it straight onto the floor, which caused it to shatter. The last thing Duke then knew after that was a large amount of magical energy being released, with Giles calling out his name. Then everything went black.

Meanwhile, back at an abandoned factory, in the industrial sector of Sunnydale…..

The dark room within the run down industrial factory on the outskirts of Sunnydale is very dimly lit. It was all but deserted, apart from a female vampire who had long black hair and was wearing a white, flowing dress. The vampire in question was in a room in the factory that was literally covered wall to wall with various dolls of shapes and sizes. The vampire in question went over to a particular shelf and grabbed what looked like her favourite doll.

"Wahhhhhhh! My poor old Spike is gone! The mean old Duke got his hands on my beloved Spike and made him go away!" The insane vampire seer known as Drusilla wailed.

"That mean old duke is going to pay for hurting for Spike. Yes he is. Ms Edith says he will make a good childe he will…" Drusilla moaned to herself as she hugged one of her dolls to her chest and began to mourn for her lost childe. The insane vampire started to think of plans and various schemes to which she could use to get her revenge on the nasty Duke that had taken away her precious Spike.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE


	6. Chapter 6 Sunnydale Meltdown Part VI

CHAPTER 6 – SUNNYDALE MELTDOWN PART VI

**Previously….**

Giles turned to Duke, who had just nodded back to the Watcher in reply. Duke went over to the bust of Janus and quickly picked it up. He lifted it up high in the air, before smashing it straight onto the floor, which caused it to shatter. The last thing Duke then knew after that was a large amount of magical energy being released, with Giles calling out his name. Then everything went black.

**And now….**

After the events of the evening and with the spell being reversed through the combined efforts of Duke Nukem and Rupert Giles, the Watcher had the dubious pleasure of carrying Xander back to the Watcher's own apartment after Xander unfortunately had passed out due to the nature of the magical backlash that he had suffered when Duke broke the bust of Janus. Xander was currently lying on Giles' couch, sleeping while a concerned Giles was cleaning his glasses and trying to think of a way to help the boy.

_Dear lord, just what the hell was that bloody pillock Ethan Rayne thinking when he cast that Chaos spell upon the Hellmouth. Chaos magic by itself is quite unpredictable, but throw in the hell energies of an active Hellmouth and who knows what could can happen. Damn that bloody Ethan! Damn him to hell for his nasty prank!_

Giles mentally roared as a bit more of 'Ripper' came out in his thoughts as he had observed that his young friend had so obviously been effected by the spell, even after the said spell had been lifted with the breaking of the bust of Janus.

_At least one good thing came out of last night's events. Somehow whoever Xander went as last night was able to dust Spike the Bloody. Well good riddance to that piece of undead trash. Now we only have to worry about that insane sire of his, Drusilla._

Rupert Giles was broken out of his train of thoughts at that moment, when he heard Xander groan as the young man began to stir upon his couch.

"Damn it, anyone get the number plate of that semi trailer that hit me?" Xander half complained to himself as he started to sit up.

"Good to see you up and about Xander. I hope you do take things a bit slowly for a bit until we get make sure there's no more ill effects from last night."

"Gahhhh…just what happened last night G-Man?" Xander asked the Watcher.

"*sigh* please don't call me that. How many times do I have to tell you that." Giles sighed.

"At least one more time G-Man." Xander said with a small smirk, even as he groaned a bit as he came to sit upright on Giles' couch.

"Well, at least we know you are almost back to your old self again Xander." Giles replied as he started to begin to feel relief as the changes to Xander may not be as bad as he first feared.

"Still, there are few things that we need to discuss. And about some side effects from Ethan's spell last night."

"What things Giles? And what side affects?" Xander asked as he started to worry a bit.

"Well it's a bit of a long story I'm afraid. Perhaps you would like some breakfast first, and then we can discuss it at length." Giles suggested.

"Sure thing G-M…eh Giles. I'm starved." Xander answered even as his stomach rumbled.

Giles then headed to his kitchen to fix some cereal and toast for the young man, when he was interrupted by his front door bell ringing.

"Hmmm..I wonder who that could be this early?" Giles asked no one in particular.

"It could be Wills and the Buffster asking about what the hell went on last night." Xander supplied.

"Ah yes. Good show." Giles replied as he answered his front door, to confirm that Xander was almost correct. He saw that indeed that the Slayer and Miss Rosenberg was there, but so too was Miss Cordelia Chase.

"Good morning girls. I take it you're here to discuss last night's events?" Giles asked even as he waved them inside with a non verbal invitation from the wave of his hand.

"Sure thing o Watcher of mine. Last night's events were really wiggy." Buffy replied as she entered Giles' apartment, quickly followed by Willow and then Cordelia.

"Hey girls, what's the haps?" Xander greeted the girls as he got up from the couch and walked towards them.

"Xander?" A shocked Willow and Buffy asked with very small voices as they noticed their friend and what he looked like now.

"What the hell? What pills are you on dork?" An equally shocked Cordelia snarked.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" A confused Xander Harris asked in reply.

"Xander! Watch the language!" Willow complained and swiped her best friend on the arm.

"OW! Did you have to do that?" Xander mock whined and complained.

"You betcha Mister! You cut that sort of language out!" Willow said to her friend with a 'resolved face'.

"*Sigh* Fine, I'll watch it from now on." Xander replied with a sigh. He could never stand up to Willow's Resolved face.

"Good."

"So Cordelia, what do you mean what pills? I'm not on anything. Legal or otherwise." Xander asked as he turned to the cheerleader.

"Huh? But what the? How do you explain what you look like now?" the cheerleader asked confused.

"It must have been that Ethan guy with his damned mojo. Can you fix my Xander shaped friend Giles?" Buffy asked her Watcher even as she pouted a bit.

"Well, it's to need a lot of research Buffy. I'm not sure where to start at this point." The Watcher replied to his Slayer.

"Now hold on a minute! Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on? And what's it all got to do with fixing me anyways?" Xander asked a bit loudly as he was beginning to lose his patience.

"*Sigh* It's probably best to show you Xander. I have a mirror in the hallway you can use."

Xander was in a state of shock. He was feeling a bit strange looking at his reflection. He had suddenly gained an extra foot or so in height and gained about another two hundred pounds in weight, but no of it was in fat. It was all muscles.

"Holy crap! I make Larry look like a midget!" Xander replied in his shock at just how big he now was.

"Now wonder you thought I was on steroids or pills or stuff Cordy." Xander told the cheerleader.

"Told you dufus." Cordelia told Xander with a snort even though she was trying to hide the fact that she now liked the way Xander looked.

"I suppose we better go back to the kitchen and get something to eat." Xander said with a sigh.

Cordelia and Xander went to the Kitchen, and quickly grabbed some toast to eat silently while they watched Giles, Buffy and Willow discuss the 'new Xander'.

"What's wrong with Xander Giles? How did he become like he is now?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know. Something like this is unprecedented, even for the hellmouth. He should have turned back to normal like yourself and Willow." Giles replied even as he started to clean his glasses again.

"Could it be the hell mouth or did that poopy head Ethan put some extra mojo on Xander's costume?" Willow asked.

"Again I don't know. We'll have to research it properly. It's unfortunate that Ethan managed to teleport himself away while I was taking care of Xander when he collapsed. I could have asked him the particulars of last night's spell."

"Surely there must be something we can do Giles." Buffy whined.

"Well there doesn't seem to be too much wrong other than his increased height and the extra muscles he has put on." Giles stated as he tried to reassure his Slayer.

"But have you suffered any affects? No matter how small?" Giles asked both the Slayer and Willow, concerned that they too might be suffering some lingering affects.

"Nope. Nothing here. Back to good old Willow…no more walking through walls and objects for me." Willow replied relieved that she was actually back to normal.

"And you Buffy?" Giles asked.

"Nothing in particular. But I do have an excellent grasp of French now. My test on Monday should be a breeze!" Buffy replied with a grin.

"Is that all?" Giles asked again to make sure.

"Yup." Buffy replied even as she grabbed an apple from a nearby fruit basket and began to munch on it.

"Hey! What about me! No one is asking if I'm okay! Just consider my poor costume! It's not like I'm going to get my deposit back!" Cordelia piped up.

"*Sigh* Are you okay then Cordelia." Giles sighed even as he humored the girl.

"Fine. Thanks for asking." Cordelia slightly grumbled even as she smiled back at Giles.

"But you weren't even affected by the spell Cordelia!" Willow protested even as she started to get a bit angry at Cordelia's attitude.

"Hmmmp." Cordelia only huffed back at the girl. "I was in much danger as the rest of you last night you know."

"But…"

"I think we all should take a moment to reflect." Giles interrupted the two girls before they could get into a shouting and arguing contest.

"We were all lucky last night. It's unfortunate that Ethan Rayne managed to teleport himself away while my back was turned. So we're all going to be extra careful in the future should he decide to return to this cursed place." Giles warned his charges.

"IF he returns, Giles. When I get my hands on him….." Buffy said angrily.

"Yes, yes you will make him pay as you Americans are so fond of saying. However there's no reason to go out on a limb seeking vengeance. But rest assured Ethan will be dealt with."

"Good." Buffy replied with a bit of a huff, while keeping her arms folded across her chest.

"So what about Xander? What's going to happen to him now?" Willow asked concerned.

"Hey! I'm right here in the room Wills!" Xander mocked complained, while touched by the amount of concern in his best friend's voice.

"For the moment Xander can stay here, while we research fully into his apparent side affects."

"Thanks Giles." Xander replied even as he smiled gratefully back to the Watcher.

"And Xander's parents?" Buffy asked.

"Hmmp. Like they would notice anything strange going on with all the amount of Beer and Jack they drink." Xander replied even as he snorted.

"But Xander…" Buffy protested.

"It's true Buffy. They really aren't the most observant of people anymore." Willow said a bit sadly, as she was all too aware of what Xander's home life was really like.

"…" Cordelia had no answer to the point just raised by Willow and did her best to remain quiet and not to insult Xander.

"Well for now, lets meet back at the library later and we can fully research this matter properly." Giles said in his 'Watcher mode.'

"Is there anything else we should know Xander?" Giles asked in order to cover all his bases.

"Well….there is a thing…" Xander replied somewhat hesitantly.

"A thing? Hey, you never mentioned there was a thing!" Willow asked a bit alarmed.

"A thing? What thing? Do I need to slay it?" Buffy asked.

"Relax guys…its nothing like that." Xander replied as he continued to explain.

"It's just that well like Buffy has knowledge of French, I now have knowledge about a lot of weapons. Like how to use them, maintain them, fix them and stuff."

"Good Lord!" Giles replied as he took off his glasses AGAIN and began to clean them.

"Hey! There's so not fair! All I get is lousy French and Xander gets all these solder type skills. I'm the Slayer, I should get them!" Buffy complained and whined.

"Hmmp. So the Dork Boy is now Solider Boy." Cordelia snarked.

"You're just jealous…" Xander said.

"You wish dweeb. As if I'm going to go around like some Rambo on Steroids carrying a big gun of any sort." Cordelia replied as she stuck her tongue out back at Xander.

"Now settle down children. We'll talk about this later. I suggest you all get ready for school." Giles said even as he began to feel that a migraine was about to come on.

"Oh, school!" Willow piped up in excitement even as Buffy complained again.

"But Giles!"

"No buts Buffy! Now everyone get ready for school!" Giles ordered even as the Scoobies began to reluctantly follow the Watcher's instructions.

END OF CHAPTER SIX


End file.
